Eating disorders, obsession with food, and
perfectionism do not always end with a nutrition degree or a
100% raw vegan diet. Yes, removing toxins and processed foods
helps—sometimes tremendously—but the pressure to look healthy,
thin and beautiful can continue beyond education or dietary
shifts. Often, it actually increases. As a Medical Intuitive and
Life Coach, I’ve encountered many nutritionists and raw fooders
who feel ashamed and embarrassed of their ongoing issues with
food. As health advocates, they’re “not supposed to have these
problems anymore!” “Why can’t they practice what they preach?”
“Why the self-sabotage?” Secret cooked food binges, bulimia
(overeating followed by regurgitation or excessive exercise),
dangerously long fasts and detoxification attempts,
uncontrollable cravings. This dark side of radiant health can
plunge people into a sea of shame and depression—which, of
course, they’re also not supposed to feel. “What if my clients
or readers find out?” they worry. “You’re human,” I say. “And
it’s more common than you think.” So common and under-reported,
in fact, that I decided to write an article.
Fortunately, our bodies never betray us. They work
on behalf of our souls—trying to grab our attention when nothing
else has. As with any health concern, once we decode and accept the
message, we can let the symptoms go. Most psychologists recognize
these patients’ tendency toward perfectionism. Therapy attempts to
negate self-judgment. This helps to some degree, but most
“recovered” anorexics or bulimics privately confess that the
disorder returns whenever they feel out of control. Best case
scenario, they can manage the stress and not return to old behavior
patterns—but the thoughts remain. Telling someone to “drop the
perfectionism” doesn’t provide a cure. In fact, it prevents the
cure! Because, truth be told, these people know they can do better.
They know they can live bigger, brighter, more influential
lives—perhaps more than anyone around them imagines. The quest for
perfect body or perfect health reflects a deeper urge to perfect the
Self. Successful treatment of eating disorders needs to honor this
inner drive—and create a safe space to explore unusual gifts and
talents. In a society that feels more comfortable with mediocrity,
it often seems easier to transfer the soul’s mission to the body.
Thus, the anorexic who holds within her a
fully compassionate, radiant, healing presence feels less
conspicuous as a walking skeleton. The bulimic whose potentially
bestselling words of wisdom could transform millions of lives finds
it easier to throw up food than to write her book. The personal
trainer who intuitively knows how to heal his clients’ self-esteem
puts all his energy into pumping iron—so that people notice his body
rather than his soul. The overweight psychic piles on pounds in
order to subdue her too-bright inner glow. I’ve noticed a complex
yet consistent dynamic in people with eating disorders. Yes, they
exhibit perfectionist tendencies, but not in the way most people
assume. The shame of imperfection stems less from impaired body
image than from living below their natural capabilities. On some
level, these people recognize that they have gifts to share, but
they get scared. Maybe the world won’t accept their unusual talents.
Maybe family tells them they need to live a certain way. Perhaps
some people find their message offensive. What if everyone thinks
they’ve lost their minds? Whatever the rational for avoiding their
gifts, these perfectionists intuitively know they’re not sharing
what they could. The shame they express with regard to their bodies
or eating habits really mirrors a deeper shame at not living as
authentically and compassionately as they could. It doesn’t matter
if people tell them they look good or consider them experts in their
field. It doesn’t even matter if they are experts in their field!
These people know they could do more, and they feel ashamed for
slacking.
Ultimately, it’s not really about perfection,
though. It’s about the “r” word. Responsibility. Having the kind of
influence that changes lives can feel scary. Self-sabotage provides
both distraction and “proof of unworthiness” to wield such
influence. But physical/psychological symptoms can only distract for
so long. Eventually, they demand attention, forcing people to deal
with those latent gifts.
The good news is that people do recover from eating
disorders, and you can, too, by augmenting your traditional
treatments with targeted personal growth exercises:
1) Practice mindful eating. Pay attention to
your food. Notice the flavors, colors, textures and how these make
you feel. Ponder all the people and processes involved in the growth
and production of your food and express gratitude for the gift on
your plate.
2) Start a meditation practice. You can buy a CD
like Yogiraj Alan Finger’s Life Enhancing Meditations or Deepak
Chopra’s SoulofHealing Meditation CD. Both offer excellent guidance
in forgiving yourself and others, allowing you to open a bigger,
more influential you.
You can also try a kundalini yoga meditation called
Sa Ta Na Ma. The words “sa ta na ma” translate roughly to birth,
life, death, rebirth, and are thus a powerful transformative mantra.
When chanting Sa Ta Na Ma, sit on the floor with your legs crossed
and press your elbows to your ribs, so that your arms each form 90
degree angles at your sides. Press the fingertips to the pads on
your palms and stick your thumb s up like a hitchhiker. Inhale
deeply and then exhale all your air, sucking your navel towards your
back. Holding the belly empty, chant silently within yourself four
rounds of “Sa Ta Na Ma.” Inhale deeply and repeat this process at
least six times, up to eleven minutes. The combination of completely
emptying and then filling the lungs and belly, combined with the
meaning, make this a super technique for people with eating
disorders. 3) Whenever you feel “too big” physically, explore your
spiritual gifts. If you don’t consciously know what these are, ask
for guidance. They will reveal themselves! You can also take a 60
question inventory here:
http://www.elca.org/evangelism/assessments/spiritgifts.html
(If you are not Christian, modify the
questions for your personal belief system.) People often feel “huge”
not because of actual girth but because they have so much unused
“stuff” inside of them.
4) When you feel the urge to purge, release in other
ways. Honor pent-up energy, words and talents that seek expression.
Write, paint, draw, volunteer. Share something beautiful!
5) When you want to starve yourself, “feed” the
world. Look at people around you starving for emotional or spiritual
nourishment. Offer random acts of kindness as support. Clean house
and donate old clothes. Give until you feel balanced to receive
again.
6) If you feel ashamed for your “issues,” remember
where you’re headed. Shame will dissolve as you embrace your deeper
purpose and share that beauty with the world. We change the world
and our lives one small step at a time. Each day, concentrate on one
small step—a journal entry, conversation, or application essay. An
outfit of older clothes put together in unexpected ways. A walk in
nature. A letter to the editor.
7) If your stomach bothers you, focus on your heart
center. If you have trouble getting into your heart, imagine green,
gold, or pink light moving in and out of you with your breath.
Follow your breath and feel a pulsating warmth in the center of your
chest. Let that warmth envelop you and radiate from you like warm,
honey, emanating sweetness. Your heart’s just one step above your
tummy, but that one step lifts you out of ego and into communion.
Laura Bruno is a Life Coach, Medical Intuitive and
Reiki Master Teacher who works with groups and individuals:
www.internationalrenaissancecoaching.com She also wrote the
soon-to-be-released eBook, If I Only Had a Brain Injury: A TBI
Survivor and Life Coach’s Guide to Chronic Fatigue, Concussion, Lyme
Disease, Migraine and Other “Medical Mystery.”
